Dealing with the Devil requires adequate supplies

The secret to being ready at a moment’s notice is to keep a supply of essentials neatly arranged and within close range at all times.

The basics are (but not limited to):

Salt water taffy – to reminisce about a holiday you once had years ago, but, alas, will never have again.

Multivitamins – to make up for poor diet, give you energy, and to ward off ‘secretary butt’.

Band-Aids – for nasty paper cuts.

Lotion – to ward off paper cuts.

Breath mints – for politely offering to people with stank breath. It’s a gentile way of saying, “I don’t like you, and BTW your face and your breath smells like a cat’s behind”.
Throat lozenges – just because.

Chewing gum – excellent for cleaning your teeth after wolfing down bites of spring rolls in-between frantic phone calls.

Eye drops - the industrial strength kind, because let’s face it, there will inevitably be a late night or heavy drinking involved at some point.

Advil – (see “Eye drops”)

Condiment packs – for sucking on, if the Devil won’t let you off your chain for lunch.

Clear push pins - for dropping on chairs of those who talk down to you).

Various stamp pads - with “Duplicate, Confidential, & Do Not Copy” written on them. These are for stamping the foreheads of those who steal your ideas and pass them off as their own.